Classic Blonde Jokes

Classic
Blonde Jokes

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These jokes are for entertainment purposes ONLY!
Musicdude and any other person or company associated with this website
will NOT be held responsible for any dillemas arising from these jokes.

What do you call an eternity?: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.
Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?: "Toes Go In First"
What do smart Blondes and UFO's have in common?: You always hear about them but never see them.
What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?: Oh look! Doughnut seeds.
Why did the Blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?: Because it said concentrate.
Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?: They think their picture is being taken.
How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax?: When it has a stamp on it.
Why can't Blondes diall 911?: They can't find the 11 on the phone!
What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you?: Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth!
How can you tell if a Blonde has been using your computer?: There is white-out all over the monitor.
Whay shouldn't Blondes have coffee breaks?: It takes too long to retain them.
How do you drown a Blonde?: Put a scratcha and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed to a regular one?: You have to hollow out the head
How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde's eye?: Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Why don't Blondes like making Kool-Aid?: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet!
Why don't they hire Blondes as pharmacists?: They keep breaking the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
Did you hear about the Blonde that got an AM radio?
: It took her a month to realize that she could play it at night.
What happened to the Blonde Ice Hockey Team?: They drowned during Spring Training.
What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?: "Look. They spelled MACY'S wrong!"
How do you make a Blonde laugh on Saturday?: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said "Disneyland Left". So they turned around and went home.

A Brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches every part of her body with her finger she says, "Doctor it hurts everywhere. My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts!"
The doctor asks,"Were you ever a Blonde?"
"Yes I was," she replies. "Why do you ask?"
The doctor answers, "Because your finger is broken!"

A Blonde and a Brunette were walking outside when the Brunette said, "Oh look at the dead bird." The Blonde looked skyward and said, "Where,where?"

A Brunette is standing on some train tracks, jumping from rail to rail, saying "21, 21, 21". A Blonde walks up, sees her and decides to join her. She also starts jumping from rail to rail, saying "21, 21, 21". Suddenly, the Brunette hears a train whistle and jumps off the tracks just as the Blonde is splattered all over the place. The Brunette goes back to jumping from rail to rail, counting "22, 22, 22".

A Blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out pops a coke. The Blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and of course the machine keeps feeding out drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping and asking if someone else could have a go. The Blonde spins around and shouts in her face, "Can't you see I'm winning?"

Two Blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first Blonde said, "These look like deer tracks," and the other one said, "No they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.

Two Blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down!"

A young Blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. Then one day she comes home and finds her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically, the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up! You're next."